There is an idea that some people hold that dating should be based upon what you have inside, not your external appearance. It is true that beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and some people may not care about other people’s physical appearance. However the majority of people are shallow to a limited extent. Looks matter not only in dating and relationships but in many other fields of life such as work.
If your friend tells you that they are not receiving enough attention from the opposite sex (or same sex if that is their target dating field), and the reason is because they’re physically unattractive, it might actually be true. Looks are only one of many factors involved in this equation. However, to say that looks do not matter at all, it’s simply wrong. Everyone does have their own unique tastes, and physical attraction can be based on how much someone weighs, how tall they are, the style that they dress, the facial features, and other factors.
Some factors of physical appearance can be changed such as weight. If you’re not at your desired weight, you can change your eating and exercise habits to either gain or lose weight. Other things like facial features and height cannot be easily changed. Some people can wear taller shoes or make up to change the way that their face or height appears, but short of getting surgery which could be risky, it is very difficult to permanently change height and facial features. While you can change your style of clothing, there is a ceiling to how much you can improve your physical appearance. Once you have made as many changes as you can realistically make to improve your physical change, then you can only focus on other factors to make yourself more attractive such as your personality.
What type of personality do people typically find attractive? Being interesting and respectful and intelligent is generally attractive not only for romantic partners but also for friends or other work colleagues. Improving your personality can open up many doors.
There’s a lot of focus on a person’s physical appearance simply because it’s the first thing that you notice when you look at someone new. You cannot see a personality from a 1 second glimpse at someone. That being said just because one person doesn’t find you attractive that doesn’t mean other people also will. You may be attractive to some people but not to others. Have realistic expectations of yourself and others while also recognizing that everyone has different preferences. Looks and personality both matter.